Querencia
Whomp! I flop down onto my squishy bed, my ipod clutched in my claws. Fluff here; fluff there, perfect! The pillow is working in my body’s favor and I am able to relax and put the earplugs of my ipod into my ears. As a rush of music flows into my ears, I can almost feel someone blowing a bubble of protection around me.
When I am listening to my sound-blasting ipod, I usually like laying on my bed and that is when I feel best. Sometimes with the music playing in my head, my eyes will go out of focus and I will stare off into space. If my eyes don’t go out of focus, I usually will close them, but I most enjoy just staring. Sometimes I can relate a song I am listening to, to something that has happened to me in my life. Also, if I have listened to some certain song(s) on a trip, I will listen to them again any time after I have gotten back from the trip, and they will bring back memories of fun and laughter. It is like a built in scrapbook in my head. Even if I have a favorite song at the time, I will just listen to it on my bed in my room, and it makes me feel separate from the world (and that is a good thing). As Shaelyn said in class, about feeling safe in small places, well when my door to my room is closed, it feels like my own small, safe place. When I am not in my room I find my querencia somewhere else.
My eyes are searching, wandering and scanning the busy room before me, searching for any sign of my targets: a jacket, face or even a lunchbox. Then my vision snags on a familiar face in the right corner of the room. Found them! I rush towards my friends, what sounds first like the yaps of hyenas slowly take the shapes of conversations. “Oh my gosh I cant believe she got eliminated!” I am at home again.
Each day I am with my friends, it feels like the comfort of being inside on a cold blustery day with the fireplace blazing high. The reason why I feel comfortable or even safe when I am with my friends is because I know they will always back me up. If we are going to do something crazy, it could be embarrassing if I didn’t have my friends there too, doing it right alongside me. Maybe if I am trying out a new look or something, when I am with them it feels almost like they are my safety net, or force field protecting me from embarrassment. Also, if I feel kind of sad about something that has just happened to me, then just hanging around them takes my mind off of things that I have been worrying about. I end up having a bunch of fun and not moping around. Both of my querencias are important to me.